Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
dude. I can hear the air.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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