What a fucking waste of an outfit
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
