Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize