i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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