Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
