Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
