Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
