i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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