Hey man sorry I got all grabby
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize