Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
