god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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