Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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