Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
