Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize