we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
