Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
