don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize