dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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