My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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