4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
