Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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