hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
