lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I look better un-naked...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
