We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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