you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
porn star boner night. come get it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
