I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
