he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
