new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
