Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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