My room smells like vodka and shame
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
