Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
