you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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