she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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