His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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