I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
