smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
