hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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