drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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