If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize