I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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