I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize