Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
