Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
