Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
