That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
