U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
