Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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