she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
