HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize