cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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