She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The best revenge is premature balding
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
