she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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