That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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