This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
