I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
