He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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