i think i have herpe
just one?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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