Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
