is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
