i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
