Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
