I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We had sex on a dog bed..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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