i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
