are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
