OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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