I wannas sexs uuuuu
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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