why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
