you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
