But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
