I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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