did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
