just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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