There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
