so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
