Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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