My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
