R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
